The Dissection: Fading Dreams

Before I delve into the song's analysis, I have to tell you about how this song came about, because it's quite unlikely. Four or so years ago, my brother was visiting a few of his friends in Indianapolis. The result of a drunken night was a jam session among them. That jam session produced the basis of what became Fading Dreams. The first thing my brother did when he returned to Bloomington was produce an electronic version of the idea. He then developed it further, finished the production, and proceeded to do nothing with it. It came to my attention on a mix of various songs that I had borrowed from him. I knew I loved it, but I didn't quite know what to do with it. I told him that he had to let me use it. Our sound was so different back then that I don't think either of us knew if the end product with my vocals draped over it had the potential to be any good. It was intended to be more of an electronic song with no vocals. Approximately four years passed and I was putting the final touches on the album. I rediscovered the beat and fell in love with it once again. After maturing for four years as an artist, I finally knew exactly what to do with it. In that way, the song embodied the process of making the album for me. I designated it as the lead song for the album before I wrote it.

In a lot of ways, I believe this song to be the most important of my career thus far. I approached the writing of it as if it were a first impression, which I absolutely believe it to be. Many people heard my music before I released the album, which I can't, nor do I desire, to control. However, the album was the first opportunity that I had to compile and connect the pieces of who I am as an artist, rather than just writing individual songs that each show different, but limited, sides of who I am. Therefore, I knew that this song had to define me in many ways. And if anyone were to ever ask me about sampling my music, I would direct them to this song first. In light of that approach, I would speculate that, word for word, more thought was put into this song than any other.

The song is really my attempt to, in less than 2 minutes, communicate not only what the album is about, but what I'm about as an artist. Further, it's intended to serve as a sign of what to expect from us sonically for what lies ahead. "Barometer" is intended to have a dual meaning. I'll go ahead and cite the two brief definitions. 1. Something that reflects changes in circumstances or opinions. 2.  An instrument measuring atmospheric pressure. In one sense, Barometer is intended to mean that this album is just a preview of things to come. We've never claimed to be untouchable and on top of the music world. However, we hope that when you listen to the album that you see the potential in us. We truly focus on continuously improving and remaining progressive in our approach. That comes with taking chances, experimenting, and even, failing. As much as we like the work we've done thus far, we believe our work has a lot of room to grow into something that hasn't been heard before. And we think in those terms. So our album is a reflection of the changes that will come in the form of the music world's opinion of us and the heights that we plan, but have yet, to reach. In the second sense, Barometer is intended to mean that the album is a display of the pressure we're capable of applying to our competition and the industry. There are flashes of greatness sprinkled throughout the album, and though we focused on creating a diverse body of work first and foremost, when you get down to the basics of what we do in creating, the song "Barometer" and the project as a whole hopefully makes listeners realize that we can be a real problem to the competition and creatively conquer whatever we set our mind to.

We want to be honest. We want to be truly original and progressive. And this whole thing isn't about making money or attaining fame, it's about putting ourselves out there and taking a chance. Creating music is accompanied by increased vulnerability. At least for the artist. Everything that I do in music, whether it be recording my thoughts in a song or performing in front of an audience is me exposing myself to potential criticism. Others may not agree with my thoughts or may simply not think that what I create is good. A lot of people don't appreciate what it takes to subject yourself to that vulnerability. I don't have to do this. In fact, that would be the easy way out. I just know that I stand to gain more as a person by doing what I like, pursuing what I believe in, and growing tolerant of criticism and differences in opinion. That's the undeniable overlap between life and music.

With that said, Fading Dreams is a reflection of my perspective on our music and the album. The song really stems from a counter-intuitive truth that I see each and every day. That truth is that the more successful you become, the more you must learn to cope with rejection. It's difficult to make sense of that reality when you sit down and think about it. But I see this first-hand - academically, professionally, and musically. During my undergraduate studies, I was named the top student in my program. I had a better job than most all of my peers. I then utilized that success to gain acceptance into a top MBA program. Now that I'm there, however, I deal with more rejection than I ever have before. I can't even get interviews with some companies I apply with. I receive criticism on my academic papers that I'm not accustomed to. The same is true about music. When only a few of your friends have heard your music and like it, it's great. Then you start to show it to more people and more opinions breed more criticism and negativity. Having those experiences in the last few years and learning from them is really the inspiration for this song. We're encouraged to pursue our dreams, but the more we pursue them, the more rejection we have to deal with along the way. So that's why it's called Fading Dreams, because I have these dreams that I'm pursuing, but they're constantly fading and seeming less-likely because of the criticism I'm now dealing with. And that criticism is a result of my success, which is what makes the thought crazy. The song is about me learning how to maintain self-belief and fight through those criticisims, using them to propel me to success on a level I've never been to before.

And that thought leads us into Barometer's opening lines...  

[If my success is their failure...there's no greater motivator

They try to deter what you do, but true love and value are entirely intrinsic

So to myself, I'm not just terrific. I'm prolific.

I feel that your success as an artist is, in a lot of ways, dependent on your ability to believe in yourself in light of circumstances that appear to be insurmountable. Even as an artist who hasn't gotten a lot of recognition in the grand scheme of things as of yet, I just feel as if there are so many detractors out there. All artists use that as motivation in some form or fashion. I'm no different. Here, I'm saying that the motivation to make those detractors fail as a result of my success is adequate in itself. Though I have other motivations, those individuals are enough. From which you can infer by how much my motivation exceeds what is typical. Being subjected to negativity is so difficult when you're in a position of vulnerability, but I do my best to remind myself that anything pure - love and how you value yourself, is under my control and nobody else's. I can choose to let negativity affect me, or I don't have to. That's the reason that I know these detractors' fake love isn't true, and it's also the reason that enables me to understand the love around me that is true. When you break it down, it's the self-belief in whatever it is you do that enables you to see your true value and potential. Which, in turn, enables you to succeed. This music endeavor for me is the perfect example. So I say, even for those that like my music and think that it's good or 'terrific', I believe in myself that much more, enough to believe that I'm prolific. And that's all that matters. Because you have more of an understanding about yourself and what you're capable of than anyone else ever will. So why would you ever listen to anybody's opinion of you? It's, by definition, illogical to take the advice of someone who has less knowledge of a subject over that of someone who has more knowledge of a subject.  

Don't say I never painted the picture for you.

Honest and vivid as can be.

So fuck it, I got it like...]

And so I say 'Don't say I never painted the picture for you' because this song and all of the other songs that include mental paintings and visuals that I've intended to create for my audience represent my vision. All you have to do is listen to my songs to know what I'm about and where I'm going. I kind of think of it in the sense of those corny adventure movies where the hero spends the entire movie looking at what becomes the map to a treasure. But they think it's just a picture the entire time because they don't know how to interpret it. I feel that way about my music. The evidence is there. What I've created is now here forever. You will always be able to go back and listen to it. But it's up to you to interpret it and extrapolate out to what it could become. So don't say that you missed it when I was nobody because I've been as 'honest and vivid as can be'. My songs are intended to tell ideas and stories. The facts lie within the songs. I've put all of this effort and thought into communicating my story as honestly as I can, and in a way that you can see and interpret. This album is, in a way, the last stop on our way to the bigger and better things that I believe we're destined for. If you've yet to grasp our potential and see our vision, you most likely never will. So this is me saying 'Fuck, it' I gave it my all to try and make you see what I saw. But you can't make people see these intangibles. They have to have something innate that allows them to perceive and understand on their own. And so I begin with one more piece of evidence: The evidence contained in the content of this lead song. And I go in... 'I got it like...'

Underrated's an understatement

Underground shit, I record from the basement

Game need a face lift, I’m operatin

Doctor, doctor but I got no patience

With this song being about self-belief, I start off with 'Underrated's an understatement'. Meaning, a lot of people tell me I'm underrated. That my music competes on the level of songs they hear on the radio and artists they see signed to labels. My response to that is that underrated isn't even the proper word. That's an understatement for where my music is in comparison to other artist's. It's really meant to be almost an over-exaggeration to prove the level of belief I have in what I'm capable of that underrated doesn't even do it justice. Relatedly, one of the principal reasons that I don't have the recognition of other artists is because I choose not to. I enjoy maintaining my status as being underground and independent because it allows me to be more honest and creatively free. And that will always be what drives me, even if I one day am paid to do what I do. Further, 'I record from the basement' is to be taken both in the literal and figurative sense. A basement is actually underground, but I also started out by recording in my basement. I mean that I'm still that guy. We still are just doing it for the love of doing it. Nothing else. The, 'Game need a face lift...' is me saying that the industry is far too commercial right now. So as the underground guy who's still honest to himself and his music, I'm here to alter the industry with this album. It's no coincidence that undergoing a face lift is purely superficial, just like the industry. So 'I'm operatin' on the industry with the precision and effectiveness of a 'Doctor, doctor'. But I'm doing it right now because it's an emergency in a sense. In the way that people will begin to become disinterested in music if it continues to be so commercialized. Therefore, 'I got no patience' is both conveying that I'm impatient and doing it now, and I'm not actually a doctor, so I have no patients.

I’m talkin right now, turn the lights down

I’m in a good zone, haters pipe down

Already told you, it’s my time now

I say 'turn the lights down' cause I'm ready to go to work. In myriad scenarios, I work better without the distraction of light. I always record in the dark when I'm in the studio. It helps me to focus as you're forced to rely on the sense that you actually need to be using - hearing, not sight. 'I'm in a good zone' refers to the songwriting process when you fall into such a groove that it's not even like you're creating any more, it's more like the song has already been written somewhere in your head and you're just being perceptive enough to let the words fall on the canvas. The track and the time period for me as an artist had me locked in, knowing exactly what to say on the song. So I say, 'haters pipe down' cause I don't want them to fuck up my zone. People who don't want you to succeed often try to divert your attention, much like a basketball player at the free throw line. 'Already told you, it's my time now' is intended to mean that I've already notified the haters in previous songs that there's nothing they can do to stop me or fuck up my focus. What lies ahead is destiny. One of those songs being track 11, entitled 'It's My Time'.

Always wanted to write a song sayin I got it all

But I done promised only the truth

Step up in the booth, not a Superman suit

No Clark Kent, behind the fog tint is just Drew

I've never written a song where I talk about having it all. Though so much of what's out there in hip-hop is, essentially, about exactly that. I just can't bring myself to do it because it wouldn't be honest. So I say that I've always wanted to write those types of songs, because that's the easy way out. It gets down to a fundamental point. It's easier to fabricate than tell the truth. That's, often times, the reason why we lie - it's just easier. It's such a counter-intuitive point as well because you have to create a lie, but the truth requires no effort in the most pure sense. I promised to always be honest in my songs, however. I'll open myself up to the vulnerability that accompanies the truth because it's the right thing to do. 'Step up in the booth, not a Superman suit'. As in, those who lie in songs, essentially, record as if they're another person. They just step into the recording booth like Clark Kent does the phone booth and make themselves into Superman by inflating and manipulating their experiences. I say that I'm not Clark Kent or Superman inside or outside of the recording booth. 'The fog tint' of sunglasses is symbolic of fame and celebrity. You hear me on a record and presume more about me than you should. Though I'm thrust, somewhat, into a position of power by having my music broadcast through speakers for many to hear, I'm just Drew, not even Drew William, behind that recording. And I'm not claiming to be anybody else.

I can feel the envy, filled with empti-

-ness in my chest, not an S on my chest

But I still tell myself that I’m blessed with best

But yet, I can feel envy because people wish they could do what I do. And here I am in a position that makes me feel kind of empty because I'm subjected to criticism pertaining to my music when I'm just really trying to do something I love. This gets back to the point of vulnerability mentioned earlier. Allusions to Superman in saying that I don't have an S on my chest, I'm human. So that rejection takes it's toll on me like it would anyone else. But I have that unwavering self-belief. So through all of the negativity, I have to just keep telling myself that I'm blessed with talents that nobody else possesses. That's how you have to justify the confidence that's necessary to succeed sometimes. Unfounded confidence can be just as useful as founded. You can't understand exactly why you're better or more qualified than somebody else, you just have to believe that you've been blessed with something that sets you apart. This is also meant to be me focusing on my blessings and reminding myself of what I have. I have all of these other blessings, so I really have nothing to lose by failing. That's how I alleviate pressure many times, by saying that if it all falls down in a worst-case scenario, I'm still blessed and better-off than most.

So I’m chillin with chicks they European

How do you explain when nobody speak English?

How do you describe what nobody else seein?

How to realize what nobody else believes in?

  

This reflects my interest in traveling abroad and the things that I've learned from the 6 countries I've visited. The fact that I, often times, find women from other countries to be far more intriguing than women in the states. But the problem becomes that they have more of the traits you desire, but they don't understand you because you come from a different background. They simply will never understand your culture and values because the only way to understand is to experience it in your formative years. We're all a product of our environment and there's nothing we can do to change much of what makes us...us. And this is how I feel with my music. Like I'm the only one who truly understands it. So, it's like, how do I explain what I mean in my music when nobody else has lived my life. It's like we're speaking a different language. Further, how do I describe my vision to people who can't see it. As I said before, you can't make people see your vision. You can lay it out in front of them, but you have to allow them to perceive and understand it on their own. Finally, getting down to the true essence of what Fading Dreams is about, how do I realize my dreams when nobody else believe in them? I can't explain it to them and I can't show them because they can't see it. So how will it ever come to fruition? That's what every artists wonders during periods in which interest in and recognition for their music doesn't grow.

I got dashed hopes, with a sick scheme

With some big doubts, and some big dreams

See the conflict? That’s what this shit means

Therefore, I have this sick scheme that I believe to be fail-proof, but dashed hopes because I don't know how I'll ever make it work when nobody gets it. Then, the rhetorical question 'See the conflict?' As in, you ask why I feel so vulnerable and why I get discouraged despite my self-belief. It's because, in a lot of ways, we're all incapable of articulating our dreams and what we see for ourselves in the future to others. It's one of the most frustrating things I've experienced, akin to having your mouth covered in duct tape when you have all of the answers. Add to it that the negativity that I'm subjected to clashes with the positivity that I try to maintain. And that's ultimately why my dreams are fading. Because of that frustration and those clashing ideals. 

I embody the honesty that you wanted to

Tellin lies when it’s sittin right in front of you

I got mad drive, call it road rage

Rich in love, hoe. Bitch, I’m so paid

I say that you wish you had the honesty that I had. It's always easier for fake people to fabricate. And those are the same ones who hate and spout negativity because they haven't been able to do what you've done. So I've put factual evidence in front of you in the form of this song and album but you still deny the potential. And that only gives me more reason to work at it. To me, the solution to so many of life's problems is just to work harder. Whether that's effective because you actually produce a better product for others or prove to yourself that you won't give up and you've given everything you have, I'm not sure. But I don't really care why either. I just know that working harder even when I feel as though I'm working hard has led to success in so many of the endeavors I've undertaken in life. So I have this 'mad drive' in the sense that my drive is very strong. Taken in the literal sense, a mad driver has 'road rage'. That drive, coupled with the loved ones who have always and will always back me no matter what I do is what makes me unstoppable. Artists like to speak about how much money they have. I've taken that cliche sentiment and say that I'm rich also - but in terms of the value of the love that surrounds me. And that type of wealth is so much more valuable than any monetary possession.

Imperfection is perfect, failure is worth it

The purpose is standing alone on my own

Just so I can make you understand, I’m a man

To end, I summarize what the song and album are about to lead you into the rest of it. I'm not trying to be perfect. I'm not sitting here writing songs about how I have it all. Me creating the music has never been about becoming rich from it or attaining fame. It's about putting myself out there and taking a chance as a human to learn and become a stronger person doing something that many others would be afraid to pursue. So, to me, the fact that I'm imperfect and am honest about it is what makes me perfect to myself and those who enjoy my music. So, even if I fail, it'll all be worth it because I went for it in good faith. I say 'The purpose is standing alone on my own' to further exemplify the way in which I feel so vulnerable and alone putting myself out there and taking this chance. But those feelings are exactly how I know I'm doing something worthwhile and becoming a better person. And I'm doing it all 'Just so I can make you understand, I'm a man'. In one sense, I'm doing it for me to prove to myself that I can do it. In another, I'm doing this for those close to me to serve as inspiration for them to go after their dreams, no matter how unlikely they are. In yet another sense, I'm doing this to prove to listeners that artists can be real and genuine.